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NEGATIVE AND POSITIVE INFLUENCES

Updated: Apr 21, 2021

Good morning!!! I hope all of you are enjoying the spring weather!!


I know this is a blog about all things education, but sometimes your environment plays a huge role in your success or failure. Let's explore how to identify these influences and what to do when you encounter them!


Firstly, let me start out by stating that this is no way medical or professional advice, it is only my opinion based on my experiences.


I have students who are overwhelmed by the amount of pressure their parents places on their education. I have a post on "A Message to Parents," yet I will go beyond it a little here for the students. If you feel like you are under a lot of pressure to perform, you have to speak to your parents or guardian about the impact that places on you to perform and eventually fail. If the parents do not understand, as a minority, you need to assistance of another elder like your teachers, school nurse, principal or anyone that will listen to you. i have a student whose mother keeps expecting enthusiasm for school like she or her husband has, and that is extremely detrimental to the success of her son. She has begun pressuring me, the tutor, equally an adult, to pressure the son to reach certain expectations. If I am unable to handle her, I can only imagine what the son is going through. Sometimes, there isn't much you can do to help someone and it is best to walk away before it starts to influence your own well-being. If you have such negative influences around you, you must learn to walk away from someone you cannot help.


To succeed, you need encouraging people around you, who will motivate you and inspire you to be successful. Only keep those positive people around.I heard the same student from above stand up for someone whose table he thought we were sitting on and the mom said, "sometimes we have to be aggressive and claim a seat that another left." How the student stays so positive and only picks up good influences amazes me each time I meet him. However, the mother's lack of learning and growth shocks me and to a point upsets me for the future of herself and her son. He does not wish to be helped and the mother should learn to respect her son's decision and let him be. If he fails that will be his own responsibility, which he should be warned about. A child needs guidance not a dictator who forces the child to be just like the parent(s), it is not going to happen. Each child is unique and we have to mold our parenting to the child's need.


On the other hand, you may come across people who are genuinely appreciative and would like to go above and beyond to assist them. This is okay as long as it is not harming or undermining you in any way! I have students who really enjoy working with me that I have been able to make a positive influence on in terms of grades, confidence, and enthusiasm. I constantly hear you have helped my son improve his comprehension of word problems, my daughter said you are a great tutor, you helped me get a 100 on a test; out of 2, I was 1 of the 100s!! All of this is quite encouraging, yet my focus always remains on the negative, the people I could not or cannot help. This is detrimental to my well being. This calls for action. Any relationship is a two-way street, if you feel it is only working one-way, you have to change something. Constantly performing the same action(s), will provide the same result.....


If you have other stories or experiences you would like to share, please comment below of a challenge(s) you encountered and how you dealt with it!


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